Seize Me Sweetheart

tonedeaf

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 04:24:48 GMT

I saw a postcard on the post secret update that had my exact same secret. I wonder if anyone would ever guess; I secretly hope someone does so they will say something and I can confess.

I read the missed connections on craigslist for austin, in hopes that someone will write one about me because they think I am beautiful enough to take the time to do that. I get jealous of all the messages that remind me of people I once loved. The nostalgia is the thing that is killing me.

I wonder if I posted a personal ad that people would be interested in what I had to say if I didn't include a picture. A big part of me is insecure and a big part of me is confident. These are the times I need self-realization or consoling or motivation or something sweet.

If you actually took the time to read this trivial bullshit; say something. Sometimes I feel like the only one existing through all this - everything.

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 15:37:48 GMT

Good morning LJbabies. Do you like my new hair? S'ok if you don't, because I'm on the fence, myself.

Did I tell you guys about Les telling me we should be friends with benefits? Besides what a terrible idea that is, I decided it's a better thing if I just don't see him anymore. And Joshua has a new girlfriend, but I don't feel so bad, because I'm way cuter - duh, hopefully.

I'm taking a hiatus from myspace, because I have a feeling that it is secretly ruining my life. :[ I'm behind on my reading anyways. I think I have a part-time life at the library.

Love you. Love me.

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 03:36:37 GMT

good evening texasbabies,

does one of you know how to play golf? will you teach me? i want to be the next Tiger Woods. Ok, not really. But I'm determined to find something I can beat my brother at. :/

So my motives aren't pure. So what? You like it.

popbling!

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 00:55:27 GMT

I want an Australian Shepard Puppy!

Awh.Awh.Awh.Awh.

A guy who is interested in me is about to move into an apartment and I'm tempted to ask if he just wants to get a two-bedroom and I'll cut half the rent. I talked to the owner of the bartending school and he says because I am such a cool gal, he'll let me take the classes and pay him AFTER he places me in a job; which I guess he rarely does (he said this). Uuuh - I guess being cute has its perks.

I'm dying my hair slightly darker, because my natural hair is darker then the extensions, and yadda yadda yah.

I can't wait to get this new job. I'm saving up for so many things and I have so many things to look forward to!

I'm thinking Christmas in the Caymensssssss. Yeeeee-yah.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. I rinsed my hair and now it's BLACK. Which is TOO dark. So, now I have to go out and buy more hair-dye, but it's too late for me to go out and I'm short three'ish dollars on the hair dye and I won't be able to go into work tomorrow with this creepy looking hair. Ahh :[

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 23:46:17 GMT

I dyed my hair a brilliant chetsnut, and I got hair extensions. But the hair extensions are darker than my natural hair so I have to dye it like 3 shades darker. But now I have super long pretty hair. I'm just going to wear it up until I can get it all dyed to match. hm hm hm!

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 04:29:12 GMT

and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried. and i cried.

and i took a deep breath.

and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried. and again i cried.

still.

depth.

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 03:16:42 GMT

This is going to sound totally crazy. But - I was thinking about spending a few weeks abroad (the United States) studying in a Zen monastery. I was told a few things about a couple places in California, etc etc etc.

I'm going car shopping this weekend. I'm debating saving my temp check for my bartending classes bill or to spend a little lavishly on myself. Since I sent out a hundred resumes, I figure I could just spend the money on myself and wait until I get a fulltime job to foot the bill for the classes.

Also looking into volunteer travel study. Craziness.

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 21:05:18 GMT

I got my key tattoo retouched today. I still don't like the way it's turning out. So, i drew up a curly q with a bow (Hello Kitty style) that he is going to tattoo through and around the key to add some more detail. I drew up the lock tattoo, but I don't quite like it.

Matt is paying me twelve dollars an hour tomorrow to stuff envelopes. That's money for another tattoo (even though I know the guy won't charge me - ha ha ha ha!)

I'm looking into platinum blonde and black extensions. I applied for five thousand jobs. I went into two places today. I have a lunch date tomorrow. I'm jumping all over the page here.

I want a beauty mark tattoo - but at the same time - I don't. Maybe I'll get my eyeliner tattoo'd on. ;O

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 01:25:12 GMT

So, I started my period today; and it makes me SO sick that I can barely stand. It's painful. Anyways - I finally walk downstairs and I start unscrewing the Aspirin bottle and Josh (my mom's... whatever) comes up and smacks his hands together right next to my ear and says "Got a hangover?"

Not only would that be rude if I DID have a hangover, which I don't, but it was obnoxious anyways. I just said "no..." and he repeats it back to me - as if he didn't understand my response. Ok.

Ways "No" Could be Interpreted to the Situation.
1) No - I don't have a hangover.
2) .... Your guess is as good as mine.

It drives me crazy - HE drives me crazy.

meow.

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 19:09:23 GMT

omgz. hot.

and if you're curious. here's a bad picture of the new tattoo.

A lot. A lot. A lot has happened. So, I guess I'll just have to make a list to sum it all up.

+ Nice date
- Parents hate my date :/
+ New (FREE) tattoo
+ New piercing
- Hit on another gay guy v_v
- Babysitting
+ Graduation Party = $$$$$$$
+ New Bookstore
- Missed the Postsecret signing
+ Water park / Sea World
- Room is a disaster again
- Not talking to mother
+ Brother teaching me to drive stick
- Lip is still kinda swollen

ANYWAYS. My pink hair faded so fast v_v. I ight not redye it. But remember I love you.

sup?

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 00:40:34 GMT

So, I ran into some money and I was really itching for a new tattoo; and I mean - I wanted one BAD.

So, I head up to the place where I got my old tattoo and the guy is getting ready to leave - same guy who had been sweet on me before. But he finds out it's ME getting the tattoo and not my sister; so he sticks around.

My sister goes around the corner and gets a better deal, so we both get tattoo'd at the same time in different shops.

She goes to a different place and I pick out one of his sketches that he just got done drawing - he actually ERASES it and says that nobody else could ever have it - it was mine forever. Nice; eh?

It only takes ten minutes and I'm totally fine. But after he's done, he shakes my hand and says "this one's on the house." OH YES, ON THE HOUSE. (My sister pee'd her pants because Custom Tattoos charged her $65 for her tattoo - ha ha ha.)

Well, anyways. I didn't know what to say, so I got his number. And he said to come back for all my tattoo needs) So, I'm thinking I'm gonna go back soon to get a matching one on the other side.)

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 06:57:04 GMT

I went and got a new bathing suit today. I always end up with a new one when Shlitterbahn season rolls around. I also think I'm going to Sea World and tubing in New Braunfels.

Today was the first real day with my niece and nephew. I didn't sleep at all last night. I walked out of my room at 7:30am and my nephew was up so we got in the car and got donuts. I also had to run across town for coffee, give the two-three year old niece a bath, shop, and then I got some leisure time at the pool; to scope out the new lifeguard hotties - keep in mind I still haven't slept at this point.

It turns into 5pm and I finally just crash - but people keep coming in to talk to me. I wake up at like 12:45am. hahahaha. I think I slept the day away. But when I go downstairs - the fridge is stocked. So, it's not that bad.

My brother got me a new hello kitty snowglobe watch that lights up. It's really cute. You guys, I'm really tired. I've reread my whole book collection in like three days. I really hope I get some grad. money so I can go to Half Price Books or something. :[

kyoot.

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 09:50:07 GMT

My sister calls at 2am to let me know that she doesn't know how to make it all the way in. She's about 2 1/2 hours away, so I offer to drive an hour and meet her and then I'll drive her in my car and my mum can drive her car with the kids in it; so she can have a break.

I actually get up and get seriously ready like I'm going out on a date or something. You have to have your priorities in order, girls.

Well, 3am and we finally meet up (hello coffee) and venture another HOUR back. It's 4 something now. Almost five. I'm no longer tired.

Least to say - I didn't get anything done today. No wait - I dyed my hair, you guys!

Seth is the only one still up and everything he's saying doesn't make sense, so I'm gonna smoke a cigarette and head to bed with a book.

eff-wai-eye.

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 18:37:30 GMT

I just want you guys to know how cute I am now.

Hella cute. I worked out the dye s the hair coloring is a baby / pastel pink; I don't think my mum likes it.

I spent all morning stuffing envelopes and stapling papers, but Eric paid me in movie gift certificates; so I hope there's a good movie out that I can go see.

Seth doesn't come home till Sunday. My sister comes in tomorrow. My party is on Sunday. By classes start mid-June. I didn't go see Les - things are perking up without.

I won a dollar scratch off today. Later I'll organize my books; atm I'm reading "Where No Gods Came." Pretty darn good. Also; I want another tattoo. Ahh - addicting. Any suggestions, people?

tiffanys plz.

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 23:45:50 GMT

You guuuyssss. I don't feel very good today. Seth called and asked what I was doing and I said I was thinking about going over to see Les; because I certainly needed an answer for a hundred things. And once in a while I get the urge to see him and usually it helps me get over things better - well... SOMETIMES!

But Seth was just like "You know you're going to call me later or tomorrow and be all depressed about it?" BUT THAT IS NOT ALWAYS TRUE. Seth just likes to stretch the truth. So, I'm trying to figure out every possible reason for going to San Marcos, but - I have none.

Thursdays are horrible days.

sleepz0rs.

Wed, 31 May 2006 08:59:23 GMT

----->
Would you guys still be my friend if I started dressing like that?

I'm not sure if I want to dye my hair pink or not, because I don't want to look like a douchebag. Anyways, I'm blonde now. Life is alright. I have a lot to do.

Sometimes lots of things make me realize how much I love Seth; not only because we rock.

Tue, 30 May 2006 22:25:33 GMT

I like this whole avatar thing, because I can always make it look like what I look like whenever I feel like it.

Alright, bitches. I'm going to get hair bleach now; and ONE HUNDRED HANGERS - for all these fucking clothes. I'm officially out of closet space. I counted all the things I don't have hangers for and ended up at 70-something, not including the pile of clothes sitting in the hamper in my bathroom - which is freshly cleaned btw.

The Bartending School Manager Guy Person called me today, and I totally have a plan to pay for all the classes - so - wish me luck.

I drank a bunch of RC cola and ate a bunch of pizza rolls, and now my stomach hurts - but I should get a lot of cleaning done today after I get more hangers / hair dye. I hope the bleached hair doesn't look like shit because I know certain parts are going to be blonder than other parts and I could be a mutt-ly mess. :[

lovchu.

Tue, 30 May 2006 11:53:25 GMT

You guys. It's seven am here. And I still can't sleep.

Whats wrong with me?

Also: I'm hungry.

I was going to buy hair bleach today but I have to buy more hangers, because life sucks like that; but I think I have a solution. MAYBE.

;;;;yawn.

My eyelashes are all clumped together. This warrants a shower.

Also. This is what I look like atm.

hay guys.

Mon, 29 May 2006 10:27:22 GMT

So, I couldn't sleep until I'd gotten all the playlists downloaded for the soundtracks I want. I've been browsing tealeaf_sales shop / journal lately. And I seriously LOVE all of it; ALL OF IT. I couldn't even pick out what I wanted to buy. But I found the cutest earrings ever.

What do you guys think?
Which ones do you guys like?

camp.

Mon, 29 May 2006 04:00:43 GMT

So, a picture tale of camping. I don't have the photos of being on the boat yet, because Mary has to email them to me.

We got to the campsite and made some burgers and I made a crown of daisies for my sweet wind blown hair-do. haha.

I went out on the cliffs by myself for some quality picture / relaxing time.

I'm like 25 feet up from the water, but you can see the lake and the line on the other side.

View shots.

And I enjoyed a cigarette while catching the last rays of sun.

I came back to the camp in time for shots of Crown Royal. My gag reflex is killer.

We chilled for an hour until night came around and then drove out to the beach and put some chairs up in the shore line and chilled watching the waves and drinking.

Somewhere during all these pictures, I stripped down to my bathing suit and went swimming in the pitch black by myself.

As I was walking along the beach, I found a minature camp fire set up (probably by some 7 year old kid - because it was only about a foot wide) and I decided to start a miniature bonfire on the beach. After some trading with a campsite nearby (beer for lighter fluid and a couple logs) I got a nice little fire going. That fork and golfball were later thrown into the fire in a rage of drunken ecstasy.

I think Kelly got mystic tan or something, because I seriously think she looks really scary, so I cut her out of all my pictures so people wouldn't get scared. But I left this one. hahaha. So. At least you can see the fire.

And my successful log excursion came up fruitful.

The golfball exploded in flames.

All the chairs we're moved from the water line to the fire side and drinking continued.

mew.

Sun, 28 May 2006 20:25:53 GMT

You guys... Life is SO good right now.
If I wasn't sick and dying life would make a teeny bit better, but let me tell you, life is GOOD in general. Memorial day weekend and I spent it all camping (I'll post pictures later) and I'll paint my room tomorrow.

BUT. On Tuesday, I have a date with Jordan and we're going on a midnight picnic under the stars. Holy shit, you guys. Life is so good.

The Simple Life marathon is on. So. Pictures later.

BAI!

affection.

Fri, 26 May 2006 19:26:04 GMT

You guys. I had a really scary dream last night.

I dreamt I was an astronaut, but I was the only one in the space shuttle. And I thought I was running out of oxygen, so I turned the shuttle around, and there were a MILLION planets to choose from. And like 4 of them looked like Earth. And then when I picked one, I didn't know how to land the shuttle.

Needless to say; I woke up very upset. I think this dream will deter me from ever wanting to be an astronaut. EVER.

I'm hungry / tired / listless.

Also. I kinda met someone whose kinda cool. Definetly not as cool as ME, but kinda close. I have a fond affection for the word kinda today.

Also - Seth is mean.

:[

Fri, 26 May 2006 02:52:11 GMT

Why won't anyone play Literati with me?

:[

peep.

Thu, 25 May 2006 13:58:07 GMT

Mortal Peep Fight

I only find this funny, because one has a paper hat and then the people in the background are not only making music but keep screaming "MORTAL PEEP FIGHT!" at random intervals.

I want to do this.

wreck.wreck.wreck.

Tue, 23 May 2006 06:17:22 GMT

to-do list for tonight / tomorrow.
[+] respond to responses to personal ad
[+] clear the clutter
[+] start some attempt at making new dress
[+] clean out guest room & make it pretty
[+] make new tracklists for theme mixed cd's
[+] apply to AT LEAST ten jobs
[+] attempt an email to Les
[+] call Seth
[+] look into bartending classes ASAP
[+] fakeidonline.com
[+] check Visa balance ($1.06 :[ )
[+] make plans for a date
[-] clean walls
[+] save time to comment friends entries
[+] arrange wardrobe
[-] ferret/school/seth art journal pages
[+] get ACC enrollment information
[+] plan something FUN for myself
[+] instant message Bryan (not Brother Bear)
[+] laundry
[-] bathroom
[+] shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I get off my period tomorrow. It's only been like eight days. AH! There's this new pill though, I don't remember the name, but it makes you have a THREE DAY PERIOD. I saw the commercial on TV, I think the website is ShortPeriod.com. Hopefully, anyways. I'd look into it, but I'd rather have the shot and have almost no period at all, because... uhh... I HATE IT. :[

I made lots of new journal pages. But I have ideas for a lot more. Yay yay yay yay! This journal thing is really giving me something productive to do. As if my days aren't productive enough. I spend most of the day sleeping, and the rest of it tired. :[ But I'm always up at night; usually talking to Seth, and feeling miserable.

I have a personal dilemma though. Have you ever carried a secret that could tear people apart, and there came the time that you would have to expose this secret to the world? I think the time is coming up, and I'm really on my toes for this one. I don't want to have to expose this whole thing, but... sometimes you have to do what's right for everyone - well, at least me.

Woop - Bryan just instant messaged me back, so I think we might hang out and get reaaaaaaally reallllllllllly high.